Well It's a Sick Fart Story
by Guess Who

"Fuck YOU, asshole!" Doreen yelled at Roger. "How DARE you do that to me!" Their relationship was sliding down hill. Doreen and Roger had some differences that just couldn't seem to be ironed out. They had been living together as boyfriend and girlfriend for 4 years. "I TOLD YOU," she bellowed, "TO RESPECT MY PROPERTY! YOU HAD NO BUSINESS THROWING MY THINGS AWAY WITHOUT ASKING!" Doreen's heart pounded and her angry, red eyes welled with tears. "Well, you are a SLOB!" Roger shot back, "And I WON'T put up with it." He looked at his girlfriend. Deep down, he was sorry for what he had done.
They had a total Odd-Couple situation going. Roger was a neat-freak, and Doreen was a total pack-rat. There were very few things she would throw away. Almost every piece of mail, even junk mail, every catalogue, magazine, and even some newspaper parts, she would keep. Pretty soon, there were stacks of printed matter in the living room, bedroom, and on the hamper lid in the bathroom. Roger hated looking at the stacks, and without asking Doreen if it would be OK first, he picked up am armload of old newspapers and took them out to the trash. The garbagemen picked them up, and drove away. All this happened while Doreen was taking a nap.
" I don't appriciate you back-stabbing me and thinking you are the boss of this place while I sleep, you JERK!" She shrieked. "Like I said, YOU are a sloppy PIG, Doreen, and I can't take it! I want to come home to an apartment that is neat, clean, and UNCLUTTERED!" Roger yelled. "Well, guess what, you MORON, I pay rent here, too, so this is MY place, and I can have my space HOWEVER I want it! How COULD you?!" Doreen plunged her face into a nearby couch pillow and sobbed. "I REFUSE to live in a pig sty." Roger exclaimed. "You had plenty of time to sort through that stuff and get rid of it." He went on to say. "FUCK YOU!" She screamed. "I have the right to keep ANYTHING I want as LONG as I want!" She sobbed.

He did feel guilty, though, deep down. He looked at his beautiful girlfriend crying into the pillow, and felt more pangs of regret. He didn't want her to be sad. She stood a statuesque 5'8", and had a tanned Barbie-like figure. A swoop of light-blonde hair fanned out on the side of the pillow. Her shoulders shook as she bawled her bloodshot-blue eyes out like a hurt child. "Look, Dorry...I'm sorry..." Roger started to say. "Her head whirled up and around and faced him. She was furious. "'Sorry' doesn't help, Roger." She said. "I had some magazines mixed in with those newspaper stacks that were very important to me. I trusted you. I trusted that you would respect me and my property." Her voice trembled when she talked.

Roger didn't know what to say, anymore. He went to bed early while she sulked in the living room and watched television. The arguement had left him feeling exhausted. He soon awoke to a strange sensation...rapid tugs on his wrists. Suddenly, the light in their bedroom clicked on, and he saw that his wrists and ankles were securely bound to the enourmous solid-maple bed they had. Doreen stood over him staring...a vengeful look in her narrowed blue eyes. "What?" He exclaimed. "What are you doing? Doreen? Have you gone nuts? Untie these damn ropes at once!" He strained on them, but they were tied very well. "What the hell?" he said again. "Roger Loser..." she said.."I find you GUILTY on all charges of theft and destruction of property. Your sentence-the Gas Chamber."

Bewildered, Roger said nothing. Doreen got up on the bed, and turned her rotund Scandinavian-blooded ass right to his face. He looked at her pussy lips-they were shaved clean, except for a trimmed triangular patch of glistening honey-blonde hairs. He outer lips were peach colored and the inner part of her slit was almost as pink as pomegranate juice. Her anus looked like what some breaks in a car's windshield looks like when a pebble hits it so hard, it leaves a round crack...like the spokes in a wagon wheel. It was a peach color, just like the rest of her skin...kinda hard to see, except it was slightly sunken-in and had those "wagon wheel spokes" creases like tightly puckered lips. He was getting worried... images of Lorena Bobbit flashed in his mind. "What are you going to do?" He asked. "I tried to apologize!" "Let those be your last words!" She snapped.

Suddenly, a mean fart made of very dense gas expelled out of her anus RIGHT onto Roger's nose. "Euwww!" He said. "Disgusting!" It was a deep, baritone stinker, heavy and rank. "EUWWWWW!" Roger wailed as the stench entered his nostrils. "That fuckin' STINKS! What did you eat, Doreen? A dead rat?" "Shut UP!" she hissed. The tiny golden hairs on her thighs bristled up. Her anus began pumping out another evil-smelling fart. Its odor was like the last one...rotten and sour. BRAAAAAAT! Right in his face. "Oh, for God's SAKE!" Roger complained. "You stink! Enough of this! The joke is over! Let me up!" He strained again against the ropes, but they held him fast. "Shut up, prisoner." She said. "Take it like a man, you damn jerk." "BLUP, BLUP, BLUP, BLUP" a set of horrible bombs erupted out of Doreen's anus, like the sound of a motorcycle engine when the motorcycle wasn't moving. The sulfuric scent spread over his face like creepy fog from a monster movie. "AAAAK!" Roger said. "OK, you have proved your point! I said I was sorry! GET OFF OF ME!" Roger began to cough.
"BRAAARRRRGGGGG" Another hideous odor tumbled out of Doreen's ass right into Roger's nose. The stench was too foul to even describe.... like a combination of gym sweat socks, rotting "buffalo wings" from Kentucky Fried Chick- en, and a pulsating sewer ready to overflow. In despriration, Roger spat on Doreen's pussy. He gagged and began breathing raggedly. "OK Doreen, just to let you know, and I am not kidding, I am starting to feel really nauseated. I strongly suggest that you let me up." She said nothing. "RRRRAAAAAAAAPPPPppppffffffft" An awful deep, burp-like long BELCH of a fart was then cut out of her ass, then it turned into a pooofy-sounding puff. It stank so badly, so profoundly, Roger could almost swear he could see it hanging in the air. His wilted, suffering nose felt as if it was going to bleed.

His face broke out in a cold, clammy sweat, and became pale. He burped and said "Oh, my God...you are making me sick to my stomach. I think I am going to be sick all over you. Stop...stop it...." fffFFFFRAAAACK!" A fart like a pirate's cackle unmercifully CANNONED out of her asshole directly onto Roger's nose. This fart had as much muscle as the others, and smelled like the very pit of hell itself. Roger tried to hold his breath, but eventually had to breathe. He tried to breathe only through his mouth, as to try to lessen the smell. His eyes bulged out, and clamped shut. His stomach turned and flopped like a fish out of water. "I'm gonna...I'm gonna......." he stammered. "WHOOOOOORRRGGGG!" Achunk-filled yellowish hot WAVE of vomit spewed out of Roger's open mouth. His stomach lurched and pushed, contracting like mad. The vomit wave hit Doreen right on her fart hole and pussy, then ricocheted right back onto Roger's tortured face.
"Mmmmmmm." Doreen purred, as the warm stew-like liquid coated her privates. "Feels good". I wouldn't want a vomit douche, though." She said. Roger just weakly sputtered and spat out the remainder of puke in his mouth. He panted for air. The ungodly smell hung in the room like a poisonous gas. "Lick your disGUSting barf off my golden treasures, you fucking weakling!" Doreen said sternly as she pushed her ralph-spattered anus onto Roger's gasping, open mouth. He was tempted to give her a painful bite, but was too afraid. Not wanting to fight anymore, he stuck out a tender, pink tongue and gently licked once across her anus. The bitter taste of vomit was awful. he tried to let it discreetly drool out of his mouth. The room's smell, which was now not only filled with fart fumes, but had the addition of an acidic vomit odor, was mind numbing.

"Again, you convicted death-row felon. Lick it again." Doreen said. Roger flicked his tongue across her asshole again. She swayed back and forth, enjoying the sensation. Her full, peach-colored knockers swung to and fro as well, and she laughed. "Again." She ordered. Roger slid his tongue from her "'taint" (the space between asshole and pussy slit) up to her anus, then circled it, clockwise. Doreen slowly got up off of him and got off of the bed, vomit trails ran down her lithe, smooth legs. She flipped her flaxen hair off her shoulders and looked down at Roger...a big "Shit-Eating Grin" spread across her surfer-girl face. A pile of rank, reeking vomit lay on Roger's chest.