Jay picked up the sound of his mother’s groaning stomach. Which meant danger was very very close. He closed his laptop and quickly unplugged his laptop charger. He’d have to make a quick exit soon.

No soon did he wrap his charger up, his mother, Jen, walked into the middle of the room. Few woman had aged as well as her. She was in her early forties and still had a vibrant youth to her. The freckles and blue eyes helped with that. Her hair was brown. At six feet, two inches, she was definitely taller than most woman. She was also curvier than most woman, at least from her stomach and down. Her breasts were medium sized … and then you travel down and see her massive hips and rear end. Jay thinks its apt to compare her rear to artillery. It’s … let’s say fearsome, which would be the reason he was gathering up and planning to bolt.

As for Jay himself, he didn’t inherit his mother’s height. He was five feet and a half, but he did have curly brown hair. His glasses along with his quiet personality, and slight frame made him look like a stereotypical geek or nerd. He was however stronger than he looked.

“Hey, hon,” she shot a disproving look at his laptop. “Playing on your laptop again? It’s bright and shining outside. Why not head outside once in a while?”

Jay shrugged. “I don’t want to.”

She smiled warmly and planted her feet firmly on the floor. “Not even if I do this?”

Jay tensed. Oh no. Get really to run for it.

ssssssbbBLLOOO-

A loud and very long bubbly fart exploded out her rear, growing progressively louder and louder. Jay swore that the walls and floor shook just a little.

-OOOURRTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

Jay waste no time. He leaped up and hurried out the room, staying close to the wall to avoid her awful gas. Jen just gave him an amused smile on his way out. When he reached the stairs, Jen was still expelling the same fart. It was only when he had settled down in his room, that she released a few last wet and nasty sounding spurts.

Her fart timed to seven seconds - incredibly long for a fart. The living room would be uninhabitable for about twenty minutes. Probably less, but Jay planned on shutting himself in his room for an hour. He sure wasn’t returning to the living room.

=====

Jay hated his mom’s farts.

Unlike most women, who would never fart in front of company or family, Jen farted openly and with great enthusiasm.

His mom had been gassy for as long as he could remember. Living with her meant that ‘gas survival,’ skills were engraved within him. He was quiet and had learned to pick up really soft sounds. Useful for detecting if Jen was coming into a room with a storm brewing in her stomach.

During meals, Jay payed close attention to what Jen ate. If she ate gassy foods, he’d set his internal timer for an hour or two. When that timer went off, he’d stay far away.

Her farts varied in stink, depending on what she ate. Sometimes it was bearable. Other times, it was like a dumpster had fallen into the area. She ate lots of vegetables, typically a whole bowl of salad every meal. He had no love of greens. He’d only eat them if they were dosed with dressing. Undoubtedly, this partially explained his dislike of Jen’s farts.

Why couldn’t he have an immunity to her farts like his father? Her gas never seemed to bother his father. Well, he did decide to marry her after all.

=====

Jay was not in a good spot. It was time for his school to sent out quarterly report card. He hadn’t been turning in his homeworks. So he had no illusions about what his grade would be. It would arrive this week. Today at the soonest. Jen would certainly not be pleased. He’d be grounded or worst, be forced to smell her farts point blank.

At her worst, Jen could make a room uninhabitable. Here’s the key word ‘room.’ When her butt was right in his face, he would be breathing nothing but pure concentrated farts.

When Jay entered the kitchen, he turned pale.

Jen was sitting at the table, reading an unfolded paper. She didn’t look happy.

“Jay,” she said slowly. “You’re still failing three classes. The teachers wrote that you’ve only handed in half your homework. Why is this?”

There wasn’t really anyway to bullshit out of this.

“I just didn’t,” he said lamely

She sighed. “Not again, I was hoping that grounding you a couple of times was enough, apparently not.”

…

Later on it was clear she was going to punish him with her farts. 1: she didn’t ground him, opting to just let him go 2: she was eating the salad of doom - broccoli, brussel sprouts, cabbage, and celery.

=====

His punishment was about to proceed in his room.

“Now I don’t want to do this either, but if it means you’ll do homework, then I will,” said Jen gently.

This was it, thought Jay, as he laid on a pillow in bed. He watched resigned as Jen stepped over him. Her huge rear descended toward him like a bomb. He was about to die. He felt the softness of her butt first, as it sank into his face. It was almost comfy like a warm pillow. However, Jay knew better than to relax. Her butt was nonthreatening now, but soon it would stink horribly. Even though the effort was futile, he held his breath.

“Do you understand the importance of passing high school? Most jobs these days require at minimum a high school degree.”

Jen wasn’t going anywhere, not until Jay learned his lesson. Soon Jay needed air, and the only available air was filtered through her butt. Her butt stank of weeks old vegetables. The scent must have been from her farts earlier. This certainly wasn’t doing favors for his dislike of vegetables.

“Well, I hope you’re ready.”

bblourrpt!

Most of her fart went up his nose. Hot, powerful, putrid, and altogether horrible, the smell made him lightheaded. The first fart was usually the worst because his nose hadn’t adjusted yet. He felt a growing dizziness as if his bed was being tossed around by turbulent waters. His nose was on fire and desperately signaling to his brain to get out now. He was strong enough to push Jen off. That was, if his arms weren’t squeezed to his sides by her powerful legs.

“That’s the first one. You have a long way to go.”

bblourrpt! pblorpt!

The foul concoction of vegetable gas assaulted his nose again. Jay grimaced as her gas flew into his face, getting deep into his pores. This one was bad, really bad. He definitely had to take a shower after the punishment was over. His nose continued to complain, but he had to lay there and take it.

A really drawn out gurgle came from her stomach. This was not going to be good for Jay at all. Her stomach never made this scary sound the other times she punished him. This was going to suck a lot.

“Lately, I’ve been thinking that my farts are wearing off in effectiveness. So, I’ve stepped it up a notch this time.”

Oh boy. Jay shut his eyes and balled his hands together. Just think of something else. If his concentration was elsewhere, he might notice the incoming smell less.

Just think-

-what Pokemon team should he use to clear the Battle Tower?

“I really hope you learn your lesson and do your homework.”

phhBBLUURRRTTTT!!

Jen let out a long sigh in relief. Jay didn’t fare so well. Her monster of a fart overwhelmed him. In his memory, this was her worst fart of all time. He trashed around, or would have if Jen wasn’t on top of him. There was no way he could even stand to look at vegetables for a while.

Jay felt Jen get her huge butt off his face. It was amazing how weightless he felt without her bum on top. He took the opportunity to fill his lungs with fresh air. Air had never been so sweet, even if it was tainted from previous farts.

“I think you need breather. And also so you can speak,” Jay just barely registered his mom’s voice. “Do you understand why you should do your homework?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me why.”

“So I get my diploma, which many jobs need.”

Jen sighed. “You know why. I just don’t know if you can really appreciate it,” she said. “I think you need a bit more punishment for the lesson to sink in.”

Jay’s brief respite was over as Jen mushed her butt into his face again.

bppllooOOOURRFFTT!! ssbBLLOOOURRTT!

Goodbye fresh air.

bplooouurfft! bbloorffft!

phlobbt!

bllrbt!

bllr

Hope bloomed in his chest. Her farts were decreasing in power, which meant-

Jen suddenly put all her weight on her butt, making Jay sink deep into his pillow.

BBBLLOOOOUUMPPTTTTTTPPPPPPTTTPTPTPTTTPPPPpppppptt!!!!

After what seemed to be an eternity, she finally got off him.

“If I hear you miss even one homework, I’ll have to punish you again, understand?”

Still in a daze, Jay barely managed to scrape together a reply. “Under-stood. It … won’t happen … again.”

“I hope not,” Jen said.