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Layovers PART 1 Ugh, layovers. I grumbled internally to myself as I returned to the waiting area. Seven hours? My boss wasn't going to be happy. Resigned, I plopped myself down into a chair and opened up Reddit on my phone. I aimlessly scrolled through the front page for a while, looking at gifs that took forever to load on airport wifi. I didn't notice the woman at first because I wasn't paying much attention to everyone else. Motion caught the corner of my eye as she walked in front of me and I glanced up. I don't know if I'd glanced up at everyone else - if I did, I'd forgotten - but I didn't look back down from this one. She was huge, at least four hundred pounds. Her masses of cellulite jiggled in front of my face like gelatin as she moved, reined in by yoga pants far too large a size to be in any clothing store. She turned, and her enormous posterior swung directly into my personal space. She smelled of an ambient, general sweat smell that, while not too offensive, was incredibly noticeable. I tried to peek out from behind her. I gathered that the lunchtime line to the TacoTime across from me had grown long enough that she was simply standing in line, and her huge ass being in my face was an unintentional side-effect of that and her lack of consideration. I looked back down to Reddit. Before I could shift my attention away from her, though, a long soft hiss became audible to me, and I felt warm air rush across my face. I looked up as I took a breath, and immediately nearly gagged. The lady had just farted! With no regard to my face directly behind her big butt, she'd let out a hissing SBD directly onto my face. And it pulled no punches, it smelled so heavily of rotten eggs that I felt dizzy. Her gas cloud spread out and permeated the area around me. It felt like it was sticking around me. I wanted to stand up, but she was actually so close to my face that I'd just shove my head into her ass if I tried to get up. Plus, I didn't want to disturb the line. She remained standing exactly where she was for another minute. What was taking this line so long? I could not wait to get up and move. But, the devil having a little fun, as soon as the fart had dissipated... TSSSSSSSSSS.... The woman let out another, longer hot hissing fart directly into my face. And it made the first one smell like fresh eggs for breakfast. I retched silently. Other people in the area started to take notice of the scent. I sat in agony for about ten seconds before I reached up and tapped her shoulder. She looked back at me. Her face was all pudge, wider than it was tall. "Can you not?" I asked, making an incredulous what-the-fuck face. Dawning realization followed by a nasty smile spread over her visage. She snickered in her sick joke, and stepped forward as the line moved. She gave a soft grunt and her muscles tensed slightly. PLLLPPLSLSSSPLT As she walked she farted again, as long as the last one but actually audible. As soon as she had cleared the way I stood up - directly into her new, sickeningly warm fart cloud. It was the same disgusting rotten-egg smell, but so much thicker and more present that it was like being freshly facefarted anew. I retched audibly, gagging on her fumes, but luckily I didn't have to stew in them any longer. I quickly hightailed it, making for a different seat as far away from her as I could get. As I sat down, I realized with dawning horror that her eggy smell had stuck to my clothes, the inside of my coat, and followed me, creating a brand new cloud as I sat down. Great. TBC |
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