Fart Cars
by Eproctophile

Being laid off and kicked out of my apartment for not having rent to pay for two months, I was forced to apply for a job as a servant in a fart car.

The money is less than minimum wage, but that is fine. Because you don’t have to worry about board and food.

The higher your profile is, as in girls choose to rent your car more by word of mouth, the higher your paycheck gets as time goes.

But you don’t suddenly boom in popularity overnight, unless you are known elsewhere. If Jim Carrey went to be a servant in a far car rental place for instance, his paycheck would be pretty high since he’d be in such incredible demand.

I, however, am just a dude from San Antonio, Texas. Hispanic and loving life. When I have a job, that is.

The most popularity I’d have going into this if a girl who graduated from my high school with me came. And it’s not like I had a huge crowd of female friends in high school. I did have a few girlfriends, one in particular who would love to fart on me for days without stop—she hates my guts. Luckily, I’m unlikely to see her here. Fart car rentals are for girls who cant’ get some fart action elsewhere, or who are away from those they’d normally fart on, or who just want a change of pace instead of releasing it on the usuals.

How it works is a guy or girl who works as a servant here is strapped in the front seat of the car with their legs across the passenger seat. Unlike most cars, there is no hump in the middle.

Girls who rent these cars rest their asses on the servant’s face while driving. The windows also cannot be rolled down, for that would reduce the efficacy of the fart perimeters, and that sort of defeats the purpose of this

As the young women push me in the car and strap my legs down and then my arms, I wonder when I’ll smell fresh air again.

Probably not for a long, long time.

“Might be a week before anyone finds your car,” says one of the girls clasping my hands together. “It’s not like guys like you are in high demand. Unless you have a bunch of exes who randomly come here. If I ever see one of my exes in a fart car rental, I’d make him smell the worst of my farts.”

“Yeah, me too,” the other girl says.

But I know my exes. They wouldn’t come to this place. If it’s a week before I’m wanted, there you have it.

u.u

I have been here three weeks, and so far, nothing.

I am forced to eat food the working girls have farted on. They also take pity of me and occasionally fart in my face.

Erin is sitting on it now. “Oh, I’ve got such a big one for you,” she says.

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“You can’t expect treatment like this forever,” she warns, pulling her skirt back up over her bare ass. ‘You have one more week to be rented or we may have to fire you. We can’t keep someone around no one will take.”

Honestly, I think I’m desirable. Erin likes farting on me. So surely some girl will come and release on me.

Four more days pass. Not a single girl has looked in my direction. Worse, by company guidelines, I don’t have to be paid if I don’t bring in any business. They provided me with food and shelter, which is in the job description. But money requires bringing in customers, and I haven’t done none of it.

So I could be thrown out on the streets soonish. Have a few more days, the rules state thirty at least.

Erin and Suzanne are standing nearby, strapping a guy I can’t quite make out from my angle. There’s a lot of door in the way of course. But I can see the girls moving. And I overhear their conversation.

“To think we got Harvey Redford here for a few days,” Erin says. “This will definitely bring in customers.”

Harvey Redford? Oh my. I can’t believe he’s here.

He was in my grade at school. Super cool dude. Girls loved him. He had a new girlfriend every two weeks, and he was always adored even when he broke their hearts

He is now a rock star. Gets stadiums packed. I’ve even been to a concert of his. With a girl of course.

If he’s here, that means this place will get a lot of publicity. And some girl will want to fart on me.

At least that’s my theory. Since there should be so many girls flocking this place that some will need to use me in theory.

That afternoon, there were three girls hovering around the car nearby that Erin and Suzanne were strapping a guy in earlier.

“I went to school with him, but he didn’t know me,” one girl says. “But when I tell others that I farted on Harvey Redford, I’ll be a hot ticket.”

“If Lily ever gets done,” one of the other girls says.

“Lily Shermu, we’re all envious of you! Hurry up so we can use him!” the first girl says, banging on the door.

The third girl, who was very quiet until now, points in my direction. “Say, girls, don’t you think that pink car is interesting? And yet there don’t seem to be any foul smells from that area.”

“Probably some loser in that car. You’ll never get 30 likes on a tweet about farting on some random. But Harvey Redford…that’s when the money is.”

“He’s not paying you to fart on him, Jill.”

“Oh, he will eventually. My butt will be the best thing he ever had in his face. No way will he want to let me go.”

“I’ll believe in I see it, Princess Jill.”

The orange-haired girl is still facing the car I’m in. Could this be the first customer I’m bringing to the Fart Car Rental? I mean, she’s technically here for Harvey, but if she farts on me, that means money coming in because of me. Very little of course, but still.

“Lily, get out of there right now or I’ll rent a servant-free car and fart on you for the rest of the day,” Jill barks, banging on the window.

The door opens. “Maybe that’s a dream come true of mine,” Lily says. “Being beneath your butt for six hours.”

“Well then, we’ll have to do that later. But right now I get to fart on Harve.”

Lily steps out and comes over to lean against the pink car ‘m in

Erin strolls by.

“Um, excuse me, but why does it smell clear in that car’s area?” the orange-haired girl who took an interest in my car before asked.

Erin looks in the direction she’s pointing.

“Oh, that’s because Eduardo hasn’t gotten any customers n yet,” Erin says. “Shame too because he’ll be fired before too long if he doesn’t get any.”

“Really?” the girl asks.

“Yep, I wish it weren’t so, but it is.”

“Aw, well someone should fart on him, then.”

“I’ll fart on him,” Lily announces.

“But you just finished up on Harvey,,” one of her friends says. The one who didn’t take an interest in me.

“A girl’s gotta fart, you know,” Lily says, shoving my door open further and sitting on my face.

“That’ll be another $2.50,” Erin says.

“Why is farting on him so cheap? It costs ten bucks to do it on Harvey.”

“Because Harvey is a celebrity. We also would normally only charge a dollar fifty for first customers to fart on a guy, but since he’s been here three weeks, we have to up the price.”

“Two and a half for the nobody I’m making smell my fart. Got it,” Lily says.

She paid up, then Erin moved on.

Now Lily grinds her ass around my face. “I’m the first o sit on you since coming here huh?” she asks. “Well, prepare to smell my fart. And trust me, they’re not a breeze.”

Grinding her butt harder, she finally pushes down on my nose.

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The rancid egg smells clog my nostrils. Her farts are only moderately bad. In fact so far she’d only make it through a low level league. I know some farts can get really nasty, far worse than I’ve smelled to date. Of course when you’re passed over in this busness for other cars, one tends to forget how awful farts can really smell.

“My turn,” says the girl who was looking this way earlier.

“”I’m not done yet, Kelsey,” Lily says. “And it looks like Jill is still on Harvey.”

“I didn’t come here to fart on Harvey,” Kelsey says. “I came because my friends wanted to be here. But I must fart on this boy. In this car. And my butt is about to blow.”

“Why are you so obsessed with him? Harvey’s a better prize.”

“Are you hogging him, Lily? There’s like twenty other cars with guys to fart on out here.”

“Yes, but this guy is so handsome. And very comfortable to sit on.” She scoots her butt around my chin, then slides toward my upper face portions to emphasize this.

“Now you’re making me jealous,” Kelsey says. “I want to sit on him. Find another car.”

“But then I have to pay more. Let me fart for five more minutes.”

“Fine, but if you’re not done then, I will fart in your face instead,” Kelsey says. “And I’m sure it’s super comfortable too.”

“No way! I can’t endure your farts.”

“Few can,” Kelsey says. “Which is another reason I don’t want to go on Harvey. He’d probably file a complaint to the Fart Control Commission if he smelled mine.”

“So you’ll make a Mexican boy smell then instead?”

“A handsome Mexican boy whose face feels good to sit on, according to you,” Kelsey says.

“Yeah, yeah, give me a few.”

“Okay, but my butt is really close. I have to keep it clenched tight waiting for you.”

Kelsey moved off.

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….went Lily’s butt.

Three more minutes of her farts graced my lips. Her butt is really hot to be under. I could feel sweat seeping into my pores from her buttcheeks warming them up.

Kelsey yanked Lily out of the car. “It’s my turn now.”

“Hey, what’s this about a Mexican dude you girls are farting on?” Jill asks, coming near.

“He’s mine,” Kelsey said. “You already released on Harvey.”

“You know Harvey is in such high demand that I could only release for a limited time. Look at the line now.”

“Oh my, there’s eight girls in line. But we were the first here,” Lily says.

“Yeah. And my butt has tons more fart stored in it. And I heard the guy in this car is making you girls antsy.”

Erin passes by. She must’ve tipped Jill off.

“Listen, there are like twenty or thirty other cars here, go find a different servant,” Kelsey barked.

“Nuh-uh, this one’ s mine.”

Jill sits down on my face. The soft flesh of her ass is refreshing. It is also rather dirty.

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Awful odors of cheese raid my nose. This is only slightly worse than Llys, however.

“Hey, move it,” Kelsey says. “I am farting on him and you can’t stop me.”

“I just paid for a session on hm. I am going to fart. You move along.”

I heard Kelsey puff and some shuffling about.

“Hey, don’t do that to Jill, Kelsey!” Lily screeches. “She doesn’t want your butt in her face.”

“I need to fart, and I am not walking to another caar to do so! Either I go on you, her, or on the boy.”

“We came here to fart on Harvey. Not on some random,” Lily says.

“So you and Jill get to release on him but I don’t? How is that fair?”

“You ladies are really fighting over a boy no girl even noticed before?” Erin says, coming up.

“Both of them say that farting on him is so much fun. I want that luxury,” Kelsey says.

“You know many of the boys here would probably cut their arms off to be farted on by you. Why not go on one of them instead?”

“Because this is the guy I want!” Kelsey says. “I noticed his car first and that it wasn’t being used. Without me, they wouldn’t even be interested in him! So it isn’t fair isf I don’t get a chance to fart on him as well.”

“If any guy mutilates himself to smell Kelsey’s’ fart, he’ll regret it immediately,,” Jill says. “Her farts are the worst of all four of us combined.”

“Hey guys, I just got done,” said the fourth girl who was with them. “So many girls waiting to go on him now.”

“Hey Morgan,” Lily says.

“So what have I been hearing about this awesome guy to fart on? Because I didn’t get enough time on Harvey.”

“Not you too!” Kelsey screams. “Find your own guys! All of you! No one deserves to fart on hm more than me.”

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….went Jill’s butt.

“Plenty more where that came from too,” she promises.

“That’s it. Lick my ass!” Kelsey barked at Jill.

“No way, you rbuut is way too icky for that.”

“I will fart on whoever I want now if I can’t go on him, and you are my pick.”

“I don’t want to smell it.”

“No one does. Which is why I’m making you.”

“Fine, let me out and you can have the boy.”

“Actually, I don’t want him now. All I want to do is fart on you for hours and hours.”

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“Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Stop please! I can’t breathe wiith your farts around! They smell like a tower of poop.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you snagged the boy I had my eye on now sniff them while I continue.”

“You can’t honestly expect me to sniff them, can you?”

“Yes, I can! If you don’t, I’ll make it worse for you by farting in your open mouth, forcing the gas down your esophagus as if it were a sewer pipe. Don’t think I won’t.”

“You. Are. The. Nastiest. Girl. Alive.”

“Love how each word you speak is like a sentence. Must be because of the foul air I’m squirting in your face. Speaking of which, I have more for ya.”

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“You are disgusting! Stop please!”

“I warned you,” Kelsey says.

“I said I’d get out! Have mercy on me!”

“Mercy s for the weak,” Kelseyays. “And speaking of which, here is much worse.”

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“I am sick of smelling your farts! Let me out now! Please!”

“But Jill, I’m just getting warmed up,” Kelsey says. She turns to Erin. “Hey, how much to rent a car and take it for a drive with Jill strapped down?”

“$30 for a single drive, if that’s what you mean. If the drive lasts longer than two hours, it will be $25 more.”

“Expensive, eh?” Kelsey asks.

“Well, this is a business. If you used one of the cars with a servant already in it, it’d be cheaper.”

“Jill is going to be my servant. I need her to smell my fart for awhile.”

“Got it,” Erin says. She snaps her fingers. “Suzanne, can you come over here for a second?”

“Hold on, I’m waiting for Brittany to get here to coordinate these girls, make sure they don’t go over their time.”

“Honestly,” Erin says. “It seems like Eduardo just became popular. I didn’t think it’d happen this soon.”

“While we wait, I’ll give Jill some more appetizers,” Kelsey announces.

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….Kelsey’s butt goes.

Jill makes an attempt to exert her dominance over me trying to not be overwhelmed by Kelsey’s flatulence on her.

Her buttcheeks clench over my nose, as if claiming it as belonging in there.

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…her butt goes.

It like grilled cheese farts now. Hardly as potent as Kelsey’s, I’m sure, even though her ass is farther away, I can smell some of it even down here and it’s overwhelming.

At last Suzanne marches over. “She finally arrived! Now let’s move the temporary servant.”

Kelsey steps aside while Erin and Suzanne both grab Jill, yanking her out of the car. Jill struggles but the staff girls both have strong grips. She’s led awayt o another car screaming, Kelsey in tow, while some of the girls in the Harvey Redford line stare.

“My turn now,” Morgan says, slipping in and restng her petite ass in my face. “By the way,” she says, “you’re really handsome, dude.”

“His name is Eduardo,<” Lily says.

“And what are you, his ex? To me, he’s just a guy to fart on. Not famous like Harvey.”

Morgan pushes her butt down hard. She has gorgeous strawberry blond hair but I can’t see if from this position, obviously.

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Oh, gosh. Terrible pot roast farts storm my nostrils. I gag multiple times. Jill and Lily’s farts were only middle potent at most, these are slightly higher.

“Smells good, doesn’t it?” Morgan says, giggling. “Bet it’s your favorite smell in the world.”

“More like least favorite,” Lily says.

“You and I both know Kelsey’s farts are worse than all three of the rest of us put together.”

“Yes, but he didn’t get them up close. And now Jill is going to be choking on them.”

Erin lopes back. “Remember you have to pay to use him,” she says to Morgan..

“Of course. How much?”

“Well, considering how popular he’s been today, it’s now $3.50 to fart on him.”

Morgan fishes in her purse for some cash and pays.

“Hey, Erin, I could use a hand over here,” says the other employee who is coordinating the line of girls waiting to release gas on Harvey Redford.

Erin goes then, and I’m left inhaling Morgan’s farts for the next half-hour, before she and Lily leave.

“You sure got some notice today,” Erin says, grinning down at me. “Looks like Harvey Redford’s being here is a blessing for you, after all.”

Yes, it is. But there is a fear that one of my exes will come here, and notice me. I know it’s silly, they all are busy now, especially Monica, the one I’m thinking of.

But Harvey Redford. What girl would pass up the chance to fart on him? Other than Kelsey. Who finds it more interesting to fart on either her friend or those who receive less attention time with girls anuses in general.

Erin rests her butt on my face, moving to the left and to the right.

“But even though you have brought in some customers, I have to release on you now, myself. Keeping crowd control was so much work, it’s good to release here and do this.”

And with that, she began a long farting session.

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I inhaled and sometimes gagged. But here was a butt Harvey Redford would’ve get to have sit on his face. Erin had only been on me before out of pity. And now she’s so used to going on me, it’s only natural.

But of the two-hundred plus girls who came through here today, there is one butt Harvey won’t get to know—and it is sitting on me right now, beautiful, magnificent, and giving my nose the strong smells of her dominance.