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The Online Date
Author: Closet Fetishist

Written: February 28th, 2016

It seems a bit odd, meeting an online date in a Del Taco, but she suggested it and who was I to say no to my favorite place?

I sit waiting, prominently near the front door so I can't miss her. She's so gorgeous from her pictures online, I don't know why she'd even be seen with me but hey, maybe it's my time.

I see her walk in finally, I wave to her as cool as I can; she smiles as she sits down.

"Hey, you're Mike?"

"Yeah, you're Lacey?"

"Yeah! Cool! Did you eat anything yet?"

"No, no way; I...uh, wanted to wait until you got here. Please, get anything, on me."

"Aww, you don't have to do that; despite this figure, I actually eat quite a bit, especially Del Taco, it's my favorite!"

"Me too, but nah, go for it; order whatever you want."

She seems hesitant, "You sure?"

"Yeah," I smile as we get up to the counter to order. "You first."

She turns to the cashier, "I'll take 3 Bean & Cheese Loaded Burritos, 5 Cheese Quesadillas, and 2 Grande Nachos;" she turns to me, "So we have enough to share," she giggles.

Her appetite surprised me but I had to play it cool, "Oh, uh...I'll take Two Shrimp Tacos and a Cheese Quesadilla."

"We don't have Shrimp Tacos right now."

"Aww, really? Alright, can you give me two Fish Tacos with Flour Tortillas?"

"Sure; anything to drink?"

I look to Lacey, "Oh yeah! Two Medium Drinks please."

"Okay, that'll be $38.87"

I pull out my credit card and swipe; thankfully it goes through no problem.

"Thanks Mike," Lacey says as she takes her drink and heads over to the soda fountain; she shakes her perfect butt a bit, or it seems like she does, teasingly towards me and then goes back to the table.

I fill up my drink; I look over to the table and she's staring at me, lustfully. Fuck, was this really happening; romance in the fucking Del Taco?

I head back to the table with my drink, I sit across from her. I immediately regretted it but I can't switch now; commit and everything will be fine.

"So..." I start, and then completely nose dive.

"So...?" She repeats, smiling.

I sigh, "Sorry, yeah,; well what kind of music do you like."

She chuckles into her soda a bit, "All kinds, but I guess I'm most into weird, like psychedelic stuff; what about you?"

"Uh, you know, like...I like like Radiohead and..."

"Yeah, Radiohead is in high school," she smiles.

I smile too despite having my favorite band trashed, "Yeah, I mean, totally; but still."

They call our number.

"I'll get it," Lacey insists and stands to go get the food.

As she walks past, I put my head in my hands and scream. I'm so fucking stupid!

I recompose myself quickly as Lacey returns with the trays of food.

"Wow!" I say, quite impressed with the spread that loads two large trays.

"I know," she says, sitting down. "Lets dig in!"

She wastes no time in starting to chow down on big bites of burrito.

I enjoy a Fish Taco before delving into the Quesadilla; I always liked the Quesadilla last. Like a cheesy dessert, delicious.

In about 30 minutes, she had finished everything including the 2 Nachos that we were gonna "share;" I had maybe like two chips, no cheese on them.

"That was so good!" Lacey says, seemingly in food coma now.

"It was, always love Del Taco."

"Me too, I could eat it every day."

We sit in silence for a few moments, but I think it suited Lacey with her massive meal sitting in her tiny stomach.

"Hey, you want to come back to my apartment?" Lacey asks, "We can, Netflix and Chill," she smiles.


"Yeah! You blaze right?"

"I mean...uh, sometimes, yeah."

"Well let's go."

"Should...erm, should I just leave my car here?"

"Yeah, I'll drop you back here; it's real close."

We left the Del Taco together to get in her car, a very sensible dark green Camry. As we started driving for about 15 minutes, I was getting the feeling her apartment wasn't as close as she made it seem.

Another 5 minutes and finally we pulled up in front of an apartment complex.

"So what should we watch?" She asks, "You like Breaking Bad?"

"Honestly, I've never seen it."

"You're shitting me!"

"No, never."

"Well you gotta fucking watch Breaking Bad, like right fucking now."

I laugh, "Okay..."

We're at her door, she opens it and leads me inside.

"Here it is; my place. It's not much but it's mine, by myself."

Her place didn't look bad at all, definately had all the amenities and then some; I thought it was actually fairly high end.

"No, this place is really nice."

"Thank you, I do what I can; fix it up."

I go to take a seat on the couch when she stops me, "Uh...actually, um, you wanna just go to the bedroom; I mean, I just kinda used that as an excuse to get you here."


She nods and heads into a doorway, I stand and slowly follow. It's her bedroom, dark with the shades pulled heavily but enough light came in to see the outlines of the bed.

"Come lay down," I hear her voice but can barely see her in the room.

But I do so, getting comfortable; I feel her body get on the bed, I look over and see her stark naked body climbing over me, looking at me sexily.

She grinds her body over my raging hard on, and looks at me to see how much I'm enjoying it.

She climbs higher, practically chest high now. She looks down at me and smiles; she swings a leg over, her back facing me now.

Her butt comes fast and hard toward my face, I try to put up my hands, ", not into butt...erm...butt stuff."

She laughs and pushes her butt harder onto my face until my arms can't really keep her off, "That's hilarious, don't worry, you don't have to do anything but sit there and take it."

What does that mean? I ask myself while still trying to get her off me.


Suddenly her anus pulsed out in a bubbly burst of gas that held all the putridness of the processed fast food we ate. I stop myself but desperately have the urge to cough and choke, the smell is nasty like rotten eggs.

I expect she'll sit up any time and apologize, I won't make a big deal about it.

But it never came, and I was starting to feel light headed.

"How's that fart?" She asks, tauntingly.

Was she making me sniff her farts?! I started to trash, trying desperately to get out from under her; still I tried to push her off but she grabbed my hands and I felt cold metal against them, the distinct clicking of handcuffs.

"There's no way you're not sniffing all my farts; then, when I'm done with you, you can return to your pathetic life."


A hot, spicy gust of wind blasted my face as I try to force my mouth to breathe but it's hard with it pressed almost sealed in her butt crack.

"Please," I beg, "Just let me go!" I cry, muffled under her ass.


She farted and laughed in reply, "You're just a pathetic as all those online wimps, so fucking many of you. I'm always happy to deflate your perverted dreams with my gas," she laughs with a few fart bubbles popping out over my face.

Oh god, the smell was putrid and hot like a disgusting dessert breeze; had she seriously done this before? I can't believe I fell for it, this is what I get for thinking with my penis; I should have fucking known a girl like this wouldn't like me. God damn it, that stinks!

I moan out, shaking side to side in some attempt for relief but there was no where to go, no way out from under her ass.


She sighed in relief as her blast blew through my face, my air heavy with her shit smell as she repeatedly assaulted my senses. How the fuck could she fart this much?! I mean, all the food but seriously?! This is inhuman!

"Ugh...I don't feel very good; I might have to turn you from a fart slave to a toilet slave," she laughs. PRRRRRrrpppp!

The smell blows my head back, nasty and potent, reeking of rotting cheese and beans; I moan and yell wildly, almost uncontrollably; the gas was driving me insane.

Finally, light shines in as she sits up but my vision is so fucked I can barely see a thing as I take greedy inhales of the tainted oxygen around me; I see her face looking back at me but I can't make out her expression, smiling no doubt; smiling like the fucking Cheshire Cat for another idiot had fallen in her trap.


Her butt let out a long, trumpeting fart that blew like a hurricane by my face; I struggled and shook, trying to wiggle my way out as I watched her ass descending again.

" no..." I pleaded before my cries were snuffed out under her butt which carried a renewed stink that wafted around my nose, tormenting me endlessly with it's unwavering potency.

"I really appreciate you paying for the food, most guys I meet don't; but then I'm gassing you with food you paid for so...I guess you're still the dumb ass here," she laughs.

RRRRRRRrrrrrrrrpppp! PRRRRRRrrrrrrpppp!

Two powerful, rippling blasts hit like punches in the face, knocking my head back with their thick, horrid smell as her ass cheeks rumbled around my face.

My labored breath heavy from the lack of oxygen, no doubt my lungs damaged by the inhalation of so much methane directly from the source.


Her ass erupted again, my face numb now from the repeated assaults as my nostrils involuntarily flared, eager for air but only greeted to putrid ass gas as my head started spinning; dark already under the ass, it seemed to get even more dark as I felt my eyes roll back in my head, my mouth contorted painfully as if frozen in perpetual choke.

I must have passed out, I don't remember anything after that.

I woke up, eyes blinded by harsh yellowed fluorescent lights above me; I sat up from the hard ground, cement. It looked like a structure, an empty parking structure. I would soon find out it was the mall; she'd dumped me off in a parking structure at the mall when she was done with me.

I didn't have money for a cab and the buses weren't running now; I'd take a long walk home, all 20 miles.

I thought about reporting her to the police but no one would believe me, it was too ridiculous a story that I was starting to disbelieve myself...if only it had been just a horrible nightmare.

If nothing else, I'd probably lay off the dating sites for a while.

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